What happens when I say the words perfect and perfection? For me, my body tenses because I know being perfect is unobtainable. If perfection is unobtainable, why do we strive for it? Why expect that ourselves, things, situations, and our businesses have to be perfect? What do we get out of it?
Recently, during a coaching session a client had a AHA moment that they needed to be present and stop worrying about everything in their life being perfect. Present over perfect! Holy power shift! If you took all the energy that goes into perfection and channeled it into just being present, how would your life change?
Think about the impact this would have on you, your business and your family. Try to be present in every moment you can for an hour, a day, a week, a month...what changes, what shifts?
Who is with me to make 2018 the year of being present?! Comment below if you're in!
Happy New Year!
The holiday season is officially upon us, starting with Thanksgiving tomorrow. There have been a few clients that have said to me this week that they know they should feel thankful for what they have but that their negative self talk creeps in. Why does that seem to happen more around the holidays? Is it something that we can change? Oh my goodness yes! Let's get into the state of thankful!
There are tools that I give to my clients that help them conquer the negative self talk, because let's face it when they are challenging themselves to do the hard work the negative talk tends to rear it's ugly head. Sometimes the holidays are challenging. I would like to give you a shortened version of two tools that I use, in hopes that you won't even need them this holiday season.
The first, I want you to picture this negative voice you hear as a troll. Make it as ugly as you want. Do you have it pictured? Next I want you to say to yourself that you aren't going to listen to the troll. Don't talk directly to the troll or acknowledge it, that gives it too much power. Next, I want you to throw or kick it as far away as you can. Like, really, really far away. It might try to come back, so you need to make the return trip hard. If it comes back, throw or kick it harder this time.
Secondly, now that this troll is gone, I want you to picture biggest thing in your life that you are thankful for. Maybe it's simply a family member smiling, a snuggle with a pet or the last chat you had with a friend. Maybe it's you. Every time you feel yourself engaging with the troll picture, what you are thankful for. You'll find that the troll has a hard time being heard when you focus on something positive. This is what the holiday season is about. Finding the little (or big) things to be thankful for about can be a game changer.
Did this help? I hope that it did.
This year, I'm thankful for my family, friends, neighbors, clients, the air I breathe, the ground beneath my feet, the changing season and YOU!
Would love to hear what you are thankful for this year. Comment below.
Confession, most of the time I have songs running in my head. I tend to think and feel in songs. It's the easiest way for me to tap into what I'm feeling or want to say. One of my new favorite songs to sing to myself is "Get Back Up Again" from the movie Trolls. The video is at the end of this post if you want to check it out.
I know, I know, Trolls? Let me explain. My son is in love with the music from this movie. It is all that we play in the house, the car, on my phone, ALL THE TIME! Another confession, I'm not tired of it yet. Most of the music is a blend of new songs that we dance around too and older songs that I'm loving again.
The song "Get Back Up Again" is one of those songs I hope my son will understand and carry the message with him forever. It's a song that reminds me to live this way. Every time I get knocked down, no matter how big or small the punch, I'm getting back up. Because there is nothing getting in my way of being me, my success and living life the way that I want.
This is what I want for not only me and my family, but for all my clients and everyone reading this. When you get knocked down, get back up again. If you have trouble getting back up, ask for a hand to help you. If you don't have time to watch the video here are the lyrics:
I really hope I can do it
'Cause they're all depending on me
I know that I must leave the only home I've ever known
And brave the dangers of the forest
Saving them before they're eaten
I mean, how hard can that be?
Looking up at a sunny sky, so shiny and blue and there's a butterfly
Well, isn't that a super fantastic sign
It's going to be a super fantastic day
It's gonna bring a pocket full of songs that I'm gonna sing
And I'm ready to take on anything
Some super fun surprise around each corner
Just riding on a rainbow, I'm gonna be okay
I'm not giving up today
There's nothing getting in my way
And if you knock knock me over
I will get back up again
If something goes a little wrong
Well you can go ahead and bring it on
'Cause if you knock knock me over, I will get back up again
Whoa oh oh oh, get back up again, whoa oh oh oh oh oh
I'm marching along I got confidence
I'm cooler than a pack of peppermints
And I haven't been this excited since
I can't remember when!
I'm off on this remarkable adventure
Just riding on a rainbow
What if it's all a big mistake
What if it's more than I can take
No I can't think that way 'cause I know that
I'm really really gonna be okay
As a mompreneur I feel like balance should be a four letter word. Balance is something moms try to continuously look for to find from the day your baby is handed to you. I spent my days trying to give everything in my life the same amount of attention, being a good mom, a good wife, good at my job, oh yeah and kinda sorta taking care of myself aka balance. You know what happened? I sucked at it. When I started my business, life became even more out of balance. I now had two children, my son and my business. All day long I fought this urge to want spend time on my business baby and felt horrible. Then when my to do list became an incredibly long list mocking me, I would have a sitter watch my son so I could work, I felt horrible. No where in any of that was time for me. It felt like I was failing at everything.
Then I went to a coaching weekend to further my coaching education and oddly enough the topic was balance. Sometimes the big man upstairs has a sense of humor. It was a intense weekend, but I walked away with a clear perspective. Balance is all about what we make of it. Balance isn't 50/50. Balance is figuring out the areas of your life you find important at that moment and figuring out the amount of time your feel comfortable giving each. This includes taking care of yourself, don't forget about that. You will never feel truly balanced if you forget about yourself. To be the best mom and momprenuer you need to take care of yourself first.
I'm a visual person, I actually took a circle and made a pie chart of my life and talked to myself. Yep, I out loud talked to myself. First there were my buckets or major areas in life, being a mom, my business, my relationship, myself...wait I'm redoing that list in a better order. Myself, being a mom, my business, my relationship. Now that I had the major buckets I figured out how many hours I could reasonably spend on each. Maybe I should put sleep in there? I love me some sleep.
Then I figure out how much time that equaled. Here's my example:
I realize that your buckets and life might look different then mine, but we all have things out there vying for our attention.
It might not even be about splitting things out in hours for you, that is how my brain works. Truly, it's about making a conscience decision everyday to spend YOUR time how you need/want to. Then do it! Let go of the guilt, it doesn't serve you to hold onto it.
Take this day by day, eventually you won't have to think about it so much.
So... should balance be a four letter word? Hell no!
If balance is feeling unobtainable for you, shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. Let's figure it out together.
There are times that clients come to me when we first start working together and say that they are broken. I love that they feel safe enough with me to be open and vulnerable, but the truth is that you aren't broken. I know at times that might be hard to believe, but it's true. There can be big time bumps in the road for everyone where we put ourselves down, are hard on ourselves or it feels like life is hard on us. That doesn't mean we are broken, it could mean we need a little help to find our way out of whatever is going on. This could be a significant other, friend, coach or therapist.
There are also tools that you can look at to help yourself when you have a feeling that you are broken. First thing, let's change that mindset. Repeat to yourself..."I am not broken". Close your eyes and repeat it again, if this statement doesn't resonate with you, is there another one? Whatever it is repeat it 10 times. How are you feeling now?
Next, journal, why you are feeling the way you are feeling. Don't worry about this being novel worthy writing, just write. Whatever comes up put it on the paper, don't think about it. What feelings came up for you? What happened to your body as you journaled? How are you feeling right now after you wrote everything down?
Next I want you to stand up, do you feel your feet firmly routed in the ground? Close your eyes and repeat to yourself, 10 times, something positive like "I am an amazing person", "I am strong", "I kick butt". How are you feeling now?
Hopefully you are more relaxed, what are small steps that you can take to change whatever is in your life making you feel this sense of brokenness? These steps should help you to feel a sense of forward momentum. Now write the steps down in your journal. I want you make a promise to yourself to tackle one a day or a certain amount this week?
What is one special thing that you can do for yourself today or even better, right now!? I challenge you to not only do that thing, but find 5 ways to pamper or honor yourself over the next 7 days. You are worth it!